It's been a little while. But I am still alive, as most of you know. :3

I'm going to Chicago this weekend. It's going to be so much fun, and I can't wait. I can't wait for all the tasty food, the music, the zoo, the shopping, and of course to see Shane. He is lovely. We will have a blast I'm sure.

I'm leaving for Japan in about 3 months. It's so surreal. I feel like I am still unsure of whether or not it is really happening, even though it seems like everything is going well, and everything but the ticket is paid for. I'm not sure though. I am very excited even though I know it is going to be uber hard to get adjusted to. I am so comfy in my own home, so it's so scary. Also, I found out my cousin in Italy hates italy....so it makes me nervous. She thinks I'll do better in Japan than she is doing in Italy....I hope she's right. Gene is apparently planning a welcome party for me. I have a feeling there will be a lot of alcohol and crazy Japanese people there. and I wont know hardly any Japanese. Idk how to handle drunk people speaking English, let alone drunk people speaking Japanese! This will be crazy lol. 

I've decided my roommate is going to be Mei-chan, because she knows an adequate amount of english and is popular, lol. Maybe being her roommate will make people like me more? Idk, maybe. Also according to Gene Mei-chan is strict buddhist and a vegitarian. I think that will be really neat to live with, and maybe if I'm a vegitarian in Japan they wont make me eat all the nasty gross fish....

I'm so excited...but first I'm excited about this weekend. I can't wait. :3

I got a 1000 dollar scholarship from ISU on top of my baiko scholarship and the JASSO scholarship. It's craaazy......

and I like shane and can't wait until he is in the haute. :3
I can't wait to hug him. <3

 Hello Livejournal friends!
I'm quite bored, but I don't have much to do. It's finals week, but I dont have any finals tomorrow. I might study Japanese tonight for about an hour, and then study again tomorrow night. The final is at 8am....so early T_T....
   So I have finals all week, and then on Saturday at 5 am I am leaving for Acen!!!! I'm so excited, I can't wait. I especially can't wait to see shane again and to meet hector. Shane makes me happy, and I'm sure hectoooor will too.!!~ 
I'm trying to decide what to wear. I think I am going to dress up for just Saturday in steampunk/lolita, and then dress normal on Sunday....and then normal on monday of course. :3 I can't wait. It's going to be fun!!!! also I hope the panels are awesome. I really want to go to the fashion show! I hope we can. ^^_^^ Goooosh, I am so excited. I am easily excited....suck it Janis....:(

 unless I completely bomb my finals, everything is going to be fine!

And I dont expect to bomb my finals. I feel quite confident.

I started working out religiously....and even though I am suffering from the worst cramps I have ever had, I feel AMAZING. I don't know why I refrain from doing it.....

I am confident that I will be confident by October. :3

ALSO
I dressed lolita today for my presentation. It sparked the interest to many girls.....it was awesome.

First off, I got the scholarship for Japan. I'll be going for free, tuition waived, and dorm fees paid for. All I have to pay for is the food, which is probably about 300 a month or so...which my 800/month stipend covers. I'm still nervous about my grades, but not as nervous as I was....if finals go well, the grades will most likely be:
Dolle English: B
Japanese: B
Derrick English: C
Folklore: B...if not A
Linguistics: A
That makes my gpa come to about..... right at 3.0, and then plus my current cumulative gpa, a cumulative of....2.85

please god please please please let me get that.....The worst scenario is if I do bad on my paper and final in dolles class, and he lowers my grade due to my "6 absences" even though they were only three....
and if in Derricks class I get a D instead of a C. If both those things happen, that is the only thing that could really screw me. Nothing else will happen. I'm doing quite well in everything else, just freaking out about nothing....
The story of my life....
And if something worse does happen and I find out my gpa is too bad to go to Japan....I might drop dead...or at least cry a lot.

I am using way too many ellipses.

I found out today that I got a 30 out of 40 on my test in Derricks class. Not as good as my last one, but substantially better than my first two. I'm amazed how I was able to pull my failing grade from midterms up to a C...hopefully... depending on the final.

okay I take it back. I have a D in Derricks....I need to get a perfect on the portfolio and at least a fifty on the final....
The final is in two wednesdays at 10....
I think for the first time in my life I am actually going to study really hard during study week.

 So I am worried about classes. I'm trying to evaluate every possible situation and estimate what my gpa will be, but I'm not sure....
Here are some situations:
BEST ONE:
World Lit: C
Japanese: B
Anal lit: B
Folk: A
Ling: A

Which would make my semester gpa ~3.2, and cumulative ~2.95....wooo

Worst scenario:
World Lit- F
Japanese-c
Anal lit- c
Folk-B
Ling- B

Semester- 2.0...cumulative only 2.3
if it's the second, Japan is cancelled and I am screwed. >_< Ill drop out of college....:(
I just need to study like crazy for finals and do really well. Japanese will most likely be a 'b', and Linguistics an A, but I am still nervous about them. If I fail world lit though, I am screwed, and I don't really know what to do about analyzing lit. I'm reading the stories, but my last four quizzes haven't been better than a 'c', and they are things I should know about.....like poetry and stuff! Why am I doing so Terrible?!

I feel like my Folklore paper was really bad as well, which is why I believe I have a b in there. I do really well on tests and quizzes in it, but that paper Im just not confident in....

Linguistics is probably an A, I just need to write my last paper....

 I can't concentrate worth anything. I want to sleeeep. I am sleepy. I will take a nap when I go home, after I finish cleading. I am going to go to the laundry mat too, because apparently the dryer is broken, and I need to do laundry really badly. so I'll gather up some quarters and go. :3 

We're discussing the intro to don quixote, which is not only boring, but when you look into it, insulting! Cervantes was a failure at life, so I don't get why he thinks he had the right to insult people like that....Theres a girl next to me drawing pictures of mushrooms. she must be on drugs. Mushrooms were cool 4 years ago, unless it is directly related to alice. Then it's alright. 
Speaking of alice. Lewis Carroll apparently wrote alice because he was a pedophile, and wanted to win the love of this young girl named alice. Apparently the way to win a girls heart is to write a story about her. I have to admit, writing a fancy story like alice about me would possibly win my heart. haha. I think it's indearing...but in relation to lewis carroll, weird.

Class is over, so I will end this post. More later.

<3

 私はたいくつとむらむらですね！！！！！！！

でも、あなたはすきいですよ。
そうですね。

 I can't wait for Acen. I think it is going to be a great time, quite fun. I can't wait to see people I havent seen for a while, and be all happy. Plus I'll be in an extra good mood because the 8th at 8 am is my last final. :3 And then the next time Im in structured education enviroments is in Japaaaaan. woooo.

I wish I had something witty and amazing to write about, but I don't really.

Except our youtube group is gonna be amazing.

 I bought a new camera, and decided I should do the meme sharon and James did a while ago.

soooo, ask me to take a photo of anything from daily life, and I will. :3
wooo!
I'll try to have photos posted by friday...
kthxbai.

 I have so many papers to write and things to do this week. 

and I hope Shane and Hector come to the Haute. 
   But I doubt they will...

Im sleepy but kinda want to clean...

So, I have decided writing in this LJ is the best, because it's the one I keep up with the most....and I forgot the password for the other one already. Soooo, lets see.

I am incredibly stressed, and somewhat annoyed with my friends lately. I think it's a phase, but who knows.

Leaving for Japan in about 5 months is terrifying. But it's hard to get out of the "I want a relationship" rut before going, because it seems to be all I want lately. idk why though...I'm so indepedent, I dont know if I could stand a relationship...but I want one. Weeeeeird. >_<

What else...?
I think Im going to start posting. It's good for my soul.

Obama won. I'm happy.

McCains speech was nice, though. Probably his best.

Yesterday I was walking with my new friend from chemistry, and he did something that reminded me of Hank Green. I asked him if he knew who hank green was, AND HE DID! AND HE'S A NERDFIGHTER! and I figured, but had no clue. It's so nice to find fellow nerdfighters.


....love is in the aiiiir......jk. He's pretty cool, but not THAT cool.

It's been a while since I posted.





I'm moving to Japan for a year, in a year. I'm so excited that it's ridiculous, but it is so far away! That's a picture from a festival at the school I'm going to.

I am going to go to the International fair on a sunday for one of my cultural events. It seems like it's going to be really amazing. :) It's not for a while though. In november.

I understand my Chem and Physics homework. It excites me.

I started my first lolita outfit that isn't really cosplay, outside of when I wear it as little red riding hood for halloween. It's going to be adorable I think, but I'm not sure how loli it is....we'll see. ^_^

This is a Cherokee story I love. It inspired me a lot.
Im putting it on here to copypasta onto a myspace bulletin for a friend.

There was once a young woman that was bored with her life.  She thought her family was stupid. She thought her chores were stupid. She couldn't stand having the same food everyday, the same friends everyday, the same everything.
"I wish something exciting would happen to me!" she would think everyday.
One day she got an idea. She decided it would be in her best interest to run away and make something happen to her.
So she started walking.
and walking.
All day.
She was very tired after that.
When she decided to stop she realized that walking all that way on her own was just as boring as her chores. "I'll just go home when I wake up," she thought, dozing off to sleep.
When she finally woke up, she stretched, and looked around. There, sitting at her feet, was the most beautiful attractive man that ever existed. He was like a god.
She sat up, and asked him "Who are you?"
"I love you," the man replied. "I want to marry you and take you to the land of the butterflies and to my home. We will live happily ever after."
This is more like it, the girl thought. "I'm ready!" she said, jumping up.
"There's only one thing," the man told her. "When we get to the Valley of the Butterflies, you must not look at things."
"Alright" she said. She was incredibly excited.
When they got about halfway to the valley, the man turned around to her and told her, "I'm not kidding. Theyll try to steal you from me. Do not look at the Butterflies."
"Okay," She agreed.
and they continued.
Soon she heard the most beautiful music ever. It penetrated her ears getting louder and louder.
"What is that noise?" she asked the man.
"I told you not to pay attention to them," he said. "Grab my belt and close your eyes. Do not look, do not listen."
She did as he said. Soon she smelled the most terrific scent she had ever sensed in her life. It smelled better than any perfume you've ever tried. It was sweeter smelling than any flower you could ever smell. It was sublime!
"They couldn't hurt me if they smelled like that, Im going to take a peek," She thought, opening her eyes.
Surrounding them were millions of butterflies. They filled the air, bright and colorful.  She couldn't help it. She let go of his belt.
The butterflies called her, tickling her cheeks with kisses.
"Oh wow! Look!" She called after the man. But he kept going, not looking back, not saying a word.
"Oh well," She thought, chasing after more butterflies. "I'll catch up with him later."
the butterflies began laughing and landing upon her skin. They weighed her down. "Okay, that's enough," she said, but they didn't listen. They began to cloud her vision, and land on her eyes. She listened for him, but the butterflies began burrowing in her ears. When she opened her mouth the butterflies shrouded her, and filled her mouth and lungs, suffocating her.

I think I might have been right when I said this year would nice.
I'm hoping I'm right.

That kinda hurt. >o<

It kinda hurt more that no one came to rescue me and I looked like a fool lying on the ground crying.

Ive decided Im completely asexual, and don't want to be with anyone for a while....
so why do I still feel something when I talk to my ex boyfriend?